


Gerry Story (for MCRdeviantclub)

by InLoveAndSqualor



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Killjoys, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Gen, MCR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-06
Updated: 2011-04-06
Packaged: 2017-11-04 11:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/393584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLoveAndSqualor/pseuds/InLoveAndSqualor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Killjoys get ready out in the desert for a big fight and Gerry (Party Poison/Gerard Way) has the job of giving the guys an inspirational speech... It doesn't go well for poor Gerry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gerry Story (for MCRdeviantclub)

_Look alive, Sunshine  
109 in the sky but the pigs won't quit  
You're here with me: Dr. Death Defying  
I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter  
Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you alive  
A system failure for the masses, empty matter for the master plan  
Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny_

_This one's for all of you rock'n'rollers  
All you crash queens and motor babies_

_Listen up!  
The future is bulletproof!  
The aftermath is secondary!  
It's time to do it now and do it loud!  
Killjoys, make some noise! _

***

Somewhere outside the desolate city limits five bandits of the new age, soldiers for art, stand their ground and prepare for their monumental fight ahead.

Their leader stands before them trying to ready them for battle, attempting to enliven their spirits and turn their fearless hearts to coldest stone.

Gerry paces the strip of ground before his crew of misfits and bandits. He eyes each one in turn looking for signs of fear, of complacency, and most importantly of all a touch of post-apocalyptic flair with fashion.

Convincing himself that the rabble just about scrape through this scrutiny; appalled that they only managed barely to meet his already low standards, he continues where he left off before the aforementioned impromptu inspection.

"Right men, as I was saying… This isn't going to be pretty," he starts again, letting his eyes wander to Frank and quickly away again.

"And I'm more than sure not all of you here are going to make it out of this alive," Gerry glances again doubtfully at Frank, shaking his head, before remembering himself and dutifully continuing.

"But these are the sacrifices I am…" he coughs. "We are… More than ready to make. Frank, Mikey, Ray… Little Ray…"

Frank leans over slowly to Mikey by his side, in a misguided attempt at not being seen.

"Little Ray, what kinda name is that for a girl?" He laughs in a low voice.

"Search me!" Mikey returns bemused.

"And… I've been meaning to ask dude. What's with that little 'en anyway? Where'd she come from?" He whispers.

"Honestly Frank I haven't got a clue. But me and Gerry got this theory… She might be the secret love child of Ray here and that guy… Leo Sayer."

"Poor kid," Frank mutters earnestly.

Gerry glares in irritation at the interruption but continues in the same serious tones.

"You all, through these hard times, have been like brothers to me"

"Like?!" Mikey sighs, slapping his hand into his face in a show of exasperation.

Frank roars giving Mikey a playful shove.

"Brothers?!" Little Ray exclaims mimicking Mikey's actions.

"Yes, those lost after the end of this day will be truly missed." Gerry exclaims again his eyes settling on a, by now, paranoid Frank.

"But remember bravery guys and always ray guns at the ready!"

"Ray guns," Frank repeats sarcastically, sounding suspiciously like a 15 year old school girl.

"Yes?" Gerry responds impatiently.

"Well," Frank begins. "Really? RayGuns?"

"Ah Frank. What in the hell's wrong with it?" Ray butts in incredulously.

"You would say that!" Frank pouts. "It just doesn't sound right!" He directs at the rest of his bemused friends. 

"Can we try something else maybe?"

"Okay Frank," Gerry snaps impatiently. "Guns at the ready!"

"Frank," Frank coughs almost incoherently. 

"What?" Gerry laughs, hands on hips and a look of utter disbelief crawling across his features.

"Frankgun," he repeats to the ground, scrapping the toe of his boot over the arid soil beneath it.

A mix of horror and amusement is apparent on each man's face.

"Frankgun!" Ray roars slapping Frank on the back, almost toppling him over.

"Fantastic," he pretends to concede. "Brilliant."

Trying doggedly to ignore the hysteria Gerry continues.

"And all don't forget I have our secret weapon!" He declares with an inflated sense of grandeur and excitement. "The secret weapon that I will unveil to you all now!"

"The weapon that will allow us to finally defeat Dr D," he continues, walking to their battle-battered car.

"Close your eyes everyone!" He calls as he rifles maniacally through the trunk.

Bemused and with tested patience Gerry's motley crew reluctantly cover their eyes with their hands and let out a collective sigh.

Frank's giggling makes Mikey's own lips ripple in desperately suppressed laughter. Little Ray looks guiltily through the gaps in her fingers whilst Ray by her side seems the most controlled of them all, a quality which is borne solely out of his abject boredom by now.

":Look!" Gerry commands gleefully throwing his hands into the air.

The scene that awaits the friends is a surrealists dream, something not out of place in a Dali masterpiece. 

Little Ray squints, she's sure what she can see ahead of her is Uncle Gerry in a huge blue bear head.

"Incredible," Ray sighs. "We're all going to die."

"Incredible is right!" Gerry cries enthusiastically through the muffle of the giant animal head he's sporting.

Frank and Mikey fall to the floor in fits of breathless laughter; rolling uncontrollably they quickly become almost covered in dust.

Little Ray peers up at her 'dad' confusedly who shakes his head in a look of hopeless abandon.

Frank is crying and hitting the ground as if begging for relief from the howls of laughter thundering through his chest.

"What… In… The hell… Are you gonna do?" He manages in bursts, wiping away a tear. "Incapacitate him with laugher?" Another attack of giggles making it difficult to speak. "Kill him with pity for how ridiculous you look?"

Wails of laughter chorus together and even Ray cracks a grin.

Gerry slowly removes his 'secret weapon', with a look of disappointment and defeat, and lets it fall to the ground.

Genuinely hurt, he tries to salvage the situation.

"Agh…" He laughs rather unconvincingly. "Gotcha!" He tries.

Frank lets Ray help him to his feet, whilst Little Ray tries unsuccessfully to upright Mikey who gains a little air and then falls flat on his backside again creating a small cloud of dust around him.

On his feet and chuckling to himself Frank let's Mikey clamber up on to his own two feet before pushing him straight back down again creating a huge cloud of dust and flailing arms.

He turns and blinks at his fantastically incompetent leader and lets curiosity get the better of him once again.

"Oh yeah?" He retorts doubtfully through a grin, as Mikey finally rights himself behind him and gives him a playful shove.

"Yeah… That's not really the super fantastic secret weapon I've been working on for six weeks. Fooled you all didn't I?" Gerry smiles, but really he looks completely deflated.

"So come on… Where is it then?" Grins Frank, although a little guiltily.

"Well, yeah… It's… It's in the car…" He says triumphantly, finally calculating a small way out. "I've fitted the car with radar!! You know so we can detect the enemy. Pretty cool huh?"

"RAYdar huh?" Frank snorts angrily.

"Give it up Frank," Ray smiles.

"Frankdar sounds better," he whispers snottily kicking the ground.

"Radar eh Gerry?" Mikey begins teasingly. "Can we see it?"

"Well it's in the car, fitted like. And anyway it's complicated… Science stuff. I wouldn't want to confuse the likes of you guys with it." He replies desperately, trying to deflect the suggestion.

"There's no radar is there?" Little Ray whispers up to her bigger counterpart.

"No kiddo, there's not," Ray smiles.

"Right men," Gerry blusters, finally finding composure. "Any questions, you know, before the big push?"

"Yeah I got a question…" Frank starts, before being quickly silenced.

"Not about the name of ANYTHING. From now on men you wanna call your weapon your twizzle stick then that's fine in my book. Just… I don't want to know about it." Gerry snaps, his eyes daring another of them to bring it up.

Frank looks around lauding over this, deciding to take it as a victory. Before realising his leaders words and snorting, "Twizzle Stick!"

"Something else?" Gerry almost screams incredulously.

"Ah… Well… No," Frank sighs, the smirk immediately wiped from his face.

"I do," Mikey manages to get in. 

"Yes?" Gerry sighs.

"Well.. That roller skating guy. You know the one in those skin tight lycra polka dot pants… What's going on with that guy? I mean why?"

"He's right," Ray agrees. "We don't need to see that."

Frank grins.

"Anything sensible, please?" Gerry sighs, and it's almost a beg.

"Oh me! I've got one!" Frank beams.

"No!" They all chorus.

"Fine!" he huffs, un-holstering his ray gun and releasing it to the ground, before throwing himself down, cross-legged, on the dirt.

"Art is the weapon…" Ray begins.

"Ah god… Okay, yes?" Gerry answers patiently.

"Well, I don't get it. I know we have to have a motto. But like, what's it mean? Art's the weapon? We gonna bamboozle them with the single point of perspective or throw gauche in their eyes?" He giggles.

Frank's really lost it with this one, almost crying he hugs himself happily; before letting himself fall backwards with a thud.

Gerry lets his head fall into his hands.

"Oooh! I really do have one this time!" Frank cries from the ground, whilst flinging his hand up into the air to indicate he was awaiting his turn.

But he can't seem to continue his enquiry any further, laughter taking a hold of him and refusing to let him speak.

Finally manages despite his laughter to continue.

"I wanna know… I wanna know," he tries. "What's up with that tiny little mask you wear?!?!" That's all he can manage for a good thirty seconds before he pulls himself together enough to continue.

"We all know it's you!" He cries. "Everyone does! It's obvious!" He cackles rolling from side to side in the filth and dirt.

Not one of Gerry's troupe can control themselves now; and the whole, once so serious, scene has descended into lunacy.

This whole time horror has been plastered on their poor leader's face, but it's slowly softening.

"Dude we're all gonna die aren't we?" Gerry laughs to his brother, who nods wryly in agreement.

"Pile on?" Gerry asks looking at those still upright; Mikey, Ray and Little Ray.

"Pile on," they agree in harmony.

And Frank completely oblivious, still wrapped up in his own sense of hilarity, lying on the floor, didn't know what hit him.

**Author's Note:**

> Gerry challenge for MCRdeviant club.  
> Prompts/Theme: Write a comedy Killjoy one-shot with the Gerry meme.


End file.
